Demi kasih sayang.

Abah aku pesan, walau apa pun yang jadi, kenanglah mereka. Demi kasih sayang. Yup, demi kasih sayang.

Kalau nak diikutkan, sebenarnya memang dah tak ada hubungan apa-apa dah. Memang dah hilang pertalian darah. Tapi, iyalah, demi kasih sayang kan?

Demi kasih sayang ni la kami biar engkau cakap buruk dibelakang kami. Semua cerita engkau jaja. Yang sampai ke telinga pun dah tak indah didengar, apa entah lagi yang tak sampai ke telinga kami?

Demi kasih sayang ni jugak la kami tak pernah nak jaja cerita buruk engkau walaupun sebenarnya, kalau kami nak buat boleh sangat. But we don't want to downgrade ourselves to your level, bitch.

Demi kasih sayang my ass.

I don't know about the rest of my family. Tapi aku dah taknak berkasih sayang dengan orang yang palit tahi yang busuk kat kasih sayang aku. You don't deserve my kasih sayang.

Slowly, I will kick you from my fucking life. I had enough. I loathe you. I don't even wanna see you on the day you die.

From now on, I don't consider you as my family anymore. At least not in my heart.



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All we need is...

"Allahumma ajurni fil musiibati, wakhluf lii khairan minha."

Wahai tuhan, berikanlah ganjaran padaku atas musibah yang Kau timpakan ini dan gantikan untukku sesuatu yang lebih baik darinya.

Tuhan kata, dia cuma duga hamba Dia kalau Dia rasa hamba Dia tu mampu untuk tanggung. But then again, kita rasa berat dah dugaan yang kita tengah hadap ni padahal yang sebenarnya, kita mampu tanggung.

Aku selalu merintih nasib diri. Dulu. Tak kira la secara vokal atau emosi, dengan individu atau di laman sosial aku. Bila Mak ajar yang ada lagi orang lain yang tengah ditimpa dugaan yang lagi besar dan berat daripada aku, I was like, "Stop bitching, bitch!"

I lost my boyfriend. Tapi ada orang lain yang hilang suami. He's just my boyfriend, my dead boyfriend. I'm jobless. Tapi ada orang lain yang jobless tanpa ada skill apa-apa untuk cari makan. At least, my make-up skill is my meal ticket.

So why the hell am I bitching? Dugaan aku lebih kecik daripada zarah.

I see the light now. Masih samar, tapi aku dah nampak cahayanya. Maybe the bright lights will eventually come to my life, maybe it won't come at all. But all I need is faith. Faith is all I need.

Aku meletakkan kepercayaan penuh kepada tuhan aku yang satu hari Dia akan tukar keperitan aku ni kepada sesuatu yang aku tak pernah expect. He actually did. One by one, aku nampak.

Biar lambat, tapi ada. Asalkan ada. Like I said, all I need is faith.

You need it too. Faith.



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Where have you been?

I don't wanna forget you voice. I don't wanna forget how you treated me. I don't wanna forget everything about you.

Where are you? I don't feel you around me anymore.



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[Review] MAC Candy Yum Yum + Diva + Up The Amp.

The first 2 MAC lipsticks that i bought with my own money!! It may be murah for you but certainly mahal for me. If i'm not a mak andam, tak adanya aku nak beli lipstick RM68 sebatang ni. I'm in the kumpul-barang-high-end-pelan-pelan mode so that i can up my price sikit la. I mean, ada la reason untuk aku naik harga. Dah nak masuk 4 tahun mak mengandam, tak naik-naik pun harga, nok! *puke* Huhu.

Bought 2 lipsticks that has been in my wishlist; Candy Yum Yum and Diva and MAC gave me another sample of lipstick which is Up The Amp. Ahh, always love how brands came up with the names for their products.

Up The Amp first. Kalau nak tahu, MAC ada banyak jenis finish. Macam matte, retro matte, amplified, frost, lustre etc. Up The Amp is amplified finish which is it'll give you this kind of creamy finish. At first i thought, i wouldn't wear this kind of color tapi bila swatch kat bibir, cantik la pulak. Warnanya macam purplish-lilac-pinkish. Kalau tone down boleh dapat effect warna yang berbeza.

Candy Yum Yum. Bought this color in the first place sebab nak cari dupes for Nars Schiap. Bila dekat counter MAC tu agak-agak macam sama dengan Schiap. Bila tanya promoter MAC tu which color is dupes for Nars Schiap tapi dia tanya aku balik dupes tu apa? Hmm. Haha. So aku agak-agak Candy Yum Yum similar to Schiap tapi bila dah beli, baru my fellow mak andam WhatsApp cakap MAC dupes for Nars Schiap is Girl About Town. I thought takpe la, Candy Yum Yum dah memang ada dalam wishlist. So, Girl About Town masuk la dalam wishlist seterusnya. Huhu. 

Candy Yum Yum is a matte finish lipstick. The color is neon pink which is, i think, fun and 'flirty'. Sangat sesuai untuk summer. Color sangat stand out kalau full swatch. If you tone down the color, jadi la sweet pink. Vanilla scented as always.

Diva. After Fatin gave me Ruby Woo, Diva is in my next MAC lipstick wishlist. MAC's website describe this color as an intense reddish-burgandy. Diva adalah plum undertone. Can see this when the lipstick wiped out and leaves stain on the lips. Walaupun warnanya gelap, nampak classy. Pair this color with a simple eye make-up so that bila pakai Diva, the color will stand out. Oh, it's matte and has vanilla scent too!

Kawanship.

There are two kinds of friendship.

1. The beneficial friendship.
2. The erroneous friendship.

The erroneous friendship balances on the principle of - the closer we are, the more okay it is for me to say anything I want to you and for me to treat you in any way that I want to and for me to disrespect you and take advantage of you.

While a true friendship is rooted in this principle - the closer we are, the more respect I have for you, the better I will treat you, the higher I will regard you, the more good things I will wish for you.

You will know someone is a true friend by basis of observing their action towards you as friendship grows deeper. A true friend will continue to hold you in higher and higher regard while the error of a friend will see your goodwill and newfound fondness as basis to do and say whatever she/he wants; that is disrespectful and non-beneficial to you.

So, choose. And leave!



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[Review] Nyx Soft Matte Lip Cream in San Paolo.

Ingat masa ada job kat KL hari tu nak borong barang Nyx kat Sephora. Tapi Jaja nak ke 1 Utama, nak kejar sale Aldo last day. Aldo takde kat KLCC and Sephora pulak takde kat 1 Utama. So, sempat pegi Mac je. Nyx is very affordable. Agaknya, kalau pegi la Sephora hari tu, memang semua aku borong sebab murah. Hehe.

Nyx Malaysia is kind enough to gave me 1 of their fast selling product; Soft Matte Lip Cream. They gave me SMLC in San Paolo. 

Sebenarnya aku tak paham kenapa soft matte. First apply, it'll give you, like creamy finish. Lepas beberapa minit it completely turn into matte finish. Agaknya, itu la kot yang dimaksudkan oleh soft matte. Huhu. The color is super gorgeous. How ever, it'll give you different color off and on flash. Off flash, i can say this is the dupes for Nars in Schiap. I love it!

And i love the smell too. Macam Mac, this lip cream has vanilla scent. Sedap je bau.

Huargghhhh.

It's just 1.37am and I'm yawning so hard. Today is a public holiday. I could sleep late or never sleep at all if I want to. Maybe I should re-arrange the furnitures in my room, re-organize my closet or marathon-ing movies.

But, no.

Kalau aku mengantuk at this particular time, ini adalah petanda baik. Oh my sleeping cycle, you've been good to me.
Good night my kings + queens!



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People.

It's often said that no matter the truth, people want to see what they want to see.

Some people might take a step back and find out they were looking at the same big picture all along. Some people might see that their lies have almost caught up to them. Some people may see what was there all along.

And then, there are those other people.
The ones that run as far as they can so they don't have to look at themselves.



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[Review] Benefit POREfessional Pro Balm.

Got this from my One Prime Day kit. Harga kit ni, tambah sikit duit, boleh dapat full size POREfessional. Tapi disebabkan i want that Stay Don't Stray eye primer tu, so i bought this kit. I don't mind though. Base on my experience, sample size which is 7 to 7.5 ml will last for at least more than 3 month even i use them on daily basis.

So, let's review!

What Benefit says about POREfessional: Quickly minimize the appearance of pores and fine lines for smoother than smooth skin. Apply this silky, lightweight balm alone, under or over make-up. Translucent, oil-free formula complements all skintones and helps make-up stay put.

Though i have open pores on the side of my nose, i can say it is very minimal. So, my open pores are the least of my problems. It can be covered by foundation. But i do want to give POREfessional a try. Does it really make pores dissappear?

I say, yes it is and no it does not.

Yes, when i apply this as primer and foundation on top of it. No, when i only use this as my primer and cover it with my compact powder. Benefit says it can be wear under or over foundation but i never try.

However, Benefit were right when they say this balm is very lightweight. I can barely feel it on my skin. After application, it'll give you matte and powdery finish.

I will definitely buy the full size someday.

[Make-up job] Photoshoot for Eiliyah's Secret.

Alhamdulillah! A good thing(s) came up to start a new year. This including a job offer from Eiliyah's Secret. They used my service for their photoshoot at Selangor. Model cantik! Kadang-kadang muka macam Fasha Sandha. Kadang-kadang, tengok macam Scha Al-Yahya pulak. Kadang-kadang, macam ada sorang blogger, nama apa entah, lupa dah.

Did a very simple natural and earth-y tone for the model. Sebab tukar baju dan tudung dah macam-macam warna. It'll be weird la kalau i did multi-color eye make-up.

Thanks Eiliyah's Secret! Next time, panggil lagi ye. ;)

What??

Bitch be like, "I tak pakai la barang MAC ni. I wear at least Estee Lauder." The second you mix MAC and Estee Lauder, we burst into tears because we laugh too much.

Bitch please, MAC owned by Estee Lauder kot. LOL!

Yang sebenarnya, engko tak boleh tengok orang lebih daripada engko. Itu je yang sebenarnya.



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2014.

Cliche. Semua orang tengah buat entry tahun baru. Hehe.

Nak cakap happy new year je la. A new year, a new you (cliche lagi). I believe 2013 has been a very good year for you as it has been a very fucking good year for me too.

2013 is tahun rezeki for me. Alhamdulillah sangat. As much as there are people who doesn't believe in what I'm doing, what is my passion, there are much more people that sedekah doa and support me. To these people, I couldn't thank you enough. All of your doas and supports, tak kira la dari segi semangat atau financial, I owe you big, big time. I'll pay your kindness one day, insyaAllah.

Love? I never stop finding love. Some of them sits on a mountain, sadly, not on gold but a shit. So? Haha.

Dah 2014, means, 3 years already Marwan left me, left us. Guess I'm not sad anymore. I can't remember when was the last time I'm crying when I think of him, of our memories. I'm smiling now whenever I think of him and our memories. Mana ada aku dah tak sayang dia. As many times as I blink, I think of him kot. It's just, I moved on. He's dead, I'm alive. I have to live my life. Or maybe, selama ni, I am dead but playing alive. Hmm.

Aku buka tahun 2014 dengan rezeki yang masuk. Dengan harapan, rezeki akan sentiasa ada throughout the years. I'll pray the same for you guys. Tak kira la apa bidang yang korang buat even seorang surirumah pun. ;)

Have a nice year ahead my kings + queens! Xo.



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Fiancé Formula.

1. Choose the youngest age which you imagine you'd want to get married.

2. Choose the age that you have absolutely no intention of passing without getting married.

3. Subtract your youngest age from your oldest.

4. Multiply this number by 0.368.

5. Add the resulting number to your youngest age and you've found your unique perfect time to tie the knot.


Devised by Proffesor Anthony Dooley, University of South Wales School of Mathematics and Statistic in Perfect, The Encyclopedia of Perfection, author by Tom Moynihan.



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