What's happening... So far.

Hello!

It's been a while since the last time I wrote a post. I even couldn't remember when was the last time. Haha. Almost a year. I guess blogging is not an in thing anymore. Huhu. 

Sooo many things happening in my life. Good things, bad things. 

One of those is, I finally got a job in government. Took me long enough though. Aku tak ingat pun bila aku isi SPP but I went for an interview around August last year. On December I got the letter but I was a 'calon simpanan'. I thought, lantaklah. Aku tak berharap sangat. 

But, luck is on my side. On mid April, I got a letter and it said I am accepted! I have to report duty by the end of April. I was so scared if my posting place is outside Perak. But I am under Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia and Bahagian Pengambilan Bukan Guru so they post new employees based on locality, means, they post us to our own states but various districts. Kat situ dah lega dah. 

I have to report duty again at Pejabat Pendidikan Daerah and during that time baru tahu kena campak sekolah kat district mana. I was posted in Teluk Intan, in Hilir Perak district. To be exact, I was posted in SK Tapak Semenang, Kampung Tapak Semenang. Yes, kampung. In palm estate. Sighhh. 

So, my aunty who is a headmistress at SK Gopeng called SK Tapak Semenang's headmaster to ask the location of the school. The headmaster said the school is indeed in the kampung and it took about 30 minutes to reach the city. So he said, macam mana pun I have to own my own transport preferably a car because it's kinda dangerous. Jalan sunyi pagi-pagi. Crap, aku mana ada kereta. Then Mak cakap, okay, let's buy a car. Sebab terpaksa. In the process of buying my car, I asked for the postponing of my report duty at the school. Headmaster granted. 

After almost 2 weeks, I got my own car and I started my job on May, 21st. But I still have a trouble in finding room for rent. It takes 1 hour and 30 minutes from my house in Ipoh to reach the school. I don't mind really to going back and forth from Ipoh to Teluk Intan. In fact, I've been doing it for 2 weeks. Kerja start pukul 7AM and by 5.30AM aku dah keluar rumah. For me, that's normal but for others, ramai yang cakap jauhlah, itulah, inilah. 

My bos helped me to find a rent room and I finally got it. It's really near by my workplace. Only 10 minutes away. But at that time I was like, nak buat bilik sewa tu macam persinggahan je. Kalau tak larat nak balik Ipoh baru duduk situ. And I've been planning to stay at bilik sewa after raya. I thought, sedih gila bulan puasa tak sekali dengan Mak. 

But not until I was involved in an accident. I was so devastated. Masa tu, kereta baru tak sampai pun 2 minggu. I hit the car in front of me only because he was on the emergency break and his tail light is not functioning. That's why he refused to make a police report I guess. My car have to go to the service center for about a month. Pening kepala, macam mana nak pegi kerja? I took a week leave to figure things out. Mak said, we have no choice other than rent a car. For a month. For a freaking month. At that time, dalam kepala aku cuma fikir mana pulak nak carik duit ni? My saving is not that much after I spent it on the pre-GST sale during my KL vacation with Fatin back in April. I bought Chanel cosmetics and stuff. Damn. If only I knew I needed money. Sighhh. Makanya, saving sangat penting. We don't know what the future holds. I'm lucky my Mak wants to help me. 

Mak said, I have to stay at bilik sewa from that moment on. Dia risau lepas aku accident tu. Dalam hati aku sangat risau dan sedih. Though Along is at home tapi kadang-kadang kalau Along keluar malam dia kena tinggal sorang. Hmm. Aku gagahkan jugak because I don't wanna make my Mak worried because of me. I started staying at bilik sewa in the week of Ramadhan starting. Imagine how sad I was? Freaking sad! I only go back to Ipoh on Friday. Hence, I always find reasons to leave early from work so I can spend more time at home. 

Kereta aku siap tepat-tepat sebulan lepas accident. Aku dah risau dah masa tu sebab takut have to extend sewa kereta. Takut sebab takut menyusahkan Mak lagi. I couldn't take her money from her savings anymore. Tak sampai hati. Banyak dah menyusahkan Mak. 

Well, that's the bad part in the good part. 

I was tested. Tapi, Allah cakap dia tak duga orang tu kalau dia rasa orang tu tak mampu nak pikul dugaan tu right? I believe in Him. 

So now, I kinda used to stay in Teluk Intan. Or I force myself to get used to it. I like to believe that it takes only a split second to complete the week. Masa tu kejap je. On Monday pegi kerja gerak dari rumah. Friday dah balik Ipoh so I have to spend only 3 and a half days in Teluk Intan. I'm holding to that now. Until retirement. Sighh. 

My workplace. I love it. Though it's in kampung but I love it. My bosses and colleagues are good to me. I didn't intend to transfer workplace. Maybe someday. Because I intend to stay with my Mak back so I can look after her. InsyaAllah. 

I am happy. I think. But not as happy as I was before. But I am still happy. Allah finally granted some of my doas. Alhamdulillah. 

Till then, toodles!

Dear S.

Our friendship has been through a rough patch, or at least I thought it was. Maybe. Different thinking and different path made us go separate ways. But as we grow older, we get wiser and mature. Silly fights are for highschool girls. Real friends forgive and forget. I am starting to believe that friendship does not measured by how long you stay with your friends but friends maybe come and go but never leave, never fade from your life. They always come back no matter what.

Da, remember how we used to talk sooo much about our dream wedding? Now, you are living your fairytale. You found your prince charming. I don't have that much money to buy you a trip to the city of love for your honeymoon as your wedding gift but all I can give you is my countless doas for your happiness in your marriage life. Be a good wife.

You are one of my oldest friend that I cherish. You have a place in my heart. Have a good, happy life ahead with your husband Da! Couldn't wait for Mecca, Medinna and their brothers and sisters! Hahah.

Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone over the TuneTalk network

[Make-up job] Jijan + Kak Bibi reception - 17/08/2014.

2014 Raya Summary.

A day before Raya.

Dah 2 years in a row kami balik lambat. Nasib la kampung 30 - 45 minutes away je. Mak nak masak segala rendang, kuah kacang semua kat rumah dulu. Tapi kali ni, balik lambat pun tak risau. Sebab Pak Su sekeluarga dah pindah duduk rumah Opah. Makanya, tak payah risau nak kemas rumah. Kami balik lepas berbuka. Abah yang sampai dari Penang masa sahur yang terakhir, balik kemudian. Aku, Along dan Mak gerak dulu. Tahun lepas tak pasang pelita sebab balik lambat. This year balik lambat pun, aku cakap, lambat macam mana pun aku nak jugak pasang pelita. Siangnya aku dah pesan kat Amirrul suruh abahnya cari minyak tanah. Lepas sampai rumah Opah, lepak sekejap, then terus aku kerah Along dan sepupu-sepupu aku pacak pelita. Lepas tu barulah rasa mood Raya tu datang.

1st day of Raya.

Macam biasalah. Lepas balik solat sunat, salam-salam mintak maaf. Part bagi duit Raya paling seronok. Nak dapat duit raya punya pasal, adik-adik sepupu sanggup buat apa-apa saja. Suruh cium, cium. Suruh peluk, peluk. Hehe. Seriously, masa salam-salam takde siapa pun ingat nak ambik gambar. Raya this year memang tak banyak gambar dari DSLR. Lepas salam-salam dan makan, we went to Big Bad Wolf. Hadap betul 1st raya pegi BBW. Don't wanna miss the chance to get cheap books. Maka, berhimpit-himpitlah kami ke BBW. Nasiblah jarak kampung dan Menglembu tak jauh. Sebab berhimpit-himpitlah aku berazam nak beli Alza atau Exora. Ahahah. Bila time Raya, kereta besar amatlah berguna. Bila sepupu-sepupu dah balik, pantang Along aku cakap jom je, berderetlah yang nak mengikutnya.

2nd day of Raya.

Selalunya, 2nd day lah lagi ramai yang balik. Kami masak rendang ayam kampung, laksa, ikan keli bakar dan rendang minang kaki lembu. Kaki lembu sounds disgusting right? Tapi bila aku try sedap gila okay. Kat bahagian kaki lembu tu macam ada satu isi yang super sedap. Nasib baiklah takde bau yang kurang menyenangkan. Mak Wan, Cik Hasan sekeluarga sampai right on lunch hour. Cik Cek sekeluarga, We, Mak We, Yong and Kak Chik sampai petang sikit, betul-betul masa kami nak gerak beraya ke rumah Cik Din. Lepas tu, teruslah kami beraya ke rumah Kak Nani di Trosor dan rumah Pak Ngah di Temin. Malamnya, Along bawak aku dan adik-adik sepupu lepak mamak. Kebosanan kat rumah Opah. Sekali lagi, berhimpit-himpitlah kami ke mamak. Hahahah.

3rd day of Raya.

Pak Su buat mini reunion on 3rd day of Raya. Hari ni kami masak nasi minyak pulak. Lauknya macam biasalah, lauk yang selalu dimakan dengan nasik minyak. Yang extra nya, kurma ayam belanda. Penuhlah rumah Opah dengan kawan-kawan sekolah Pak Su. Petangnya, kami berlambak-lambak je. Marathon Final Destination. Huhu. Malamnya, i cooked baked macaroni for the entire family. Percubaan pertama rasanya berjaya sebab tak dengar apa-apa complaint pun. Hahah. Habis masak, Cik Ali ajak ronda-ronda. Cadangnya nak ke Uptown Meru. Tapi Raya ketiga kan, mana ada kedai bukak. So, lajaklah ke Ipoh. Lepak kat Riverwalk. Ramai gila orang. Tengah jalan-jalan ada pulak sorang mamat ni propose kat girlfriend dia. Aku siap jerit so sweet la, congrats la bagai. Hahah. Nak naik basikal, tapi ramai sangat yang beratur. Huuu.

4th day of Raya.

Hari ni memang cadangnya nak berjalan. Tapi tak decide pun nak pegi mana. Tau-tau dah sampai Cameron Highlands. Impromptu trip. CH tengah sejuk masa tu. Sebab impromptu, manalah bawak segala sweater. Agak menggigil. We had late lunch and then singgah pasar. Mestilah wajib strawberry and dried strawberry kan. Aku pulak memang wajiblah cendawan goreng. Turun dah senja. Nak turun tak jammed langsung. Masa kami dah nak turun, hala ke atas yang jammed. Adalah dalam 15 - 20 KM jammed nya. Sebelum balik rumah Opah, singgah Starbucks.

5th day of Raya.

Dah balik Ipoh. NOOOOOOOO. Sedihnya. How i wish i can be with my big family all year long. Macam hari-hari hari Rayalah. Huuu. Petangnya pegi rumah Jujubees. Tapi dah sampai rumah dia pulak takde. Pegi raya rumah Wan. Makanya, aku dengan Irra dengan muka tak malunya crashing rumah Wan. Hahaha. Lepas tu baru beraya rumah Juju. Kat rumah Ju ni speciality dia cookies. Pandai betul buat cookies. Kalah Famos Amos. Huhu.

6th of raya.

Raya rumah Irra and Ila. Rumah Irra buat steamboat. Melantak sakan! Aku stay sampai lepas Maghrib sebab malamnya, aku dengan Irra nak beraya rumah Ila pulak. Bayangkanlah berapa round aku makan steamboat ittew. Ahahaha. Kat rumah Ila buat spaghetti apa dia entah, pun sedap nak mampos jugak.

Maka dengan itu, berakhirlah Raya aku. Summary apa panjang cenggini. Ahahahah. Raya, tak pernah yang tak seronok. Maybe in 2011 tak seronok sikit because during Raya that year i lost Marwan. Umur-umur macam aku ni, cuma fikir bila time Raya tu nak gather dengan family je. Nak seronok dengan family. Especially dengan Opah. Opah dah uzur benar. Tak tahu bila Allah nak jemput dia. Hmm.

Till then, toodles!

Hmm.

While waiting for berbuka puasa, scroll timeling Instagram. Scrolling, scrolling. Tiba-tiba, nampak sepupu paling rapat yang makin hari makin membesar perutnya. Sebab mengandung. Bukan sebab gemuk. Huhu. Scroll lagi. Tengok kawan sesekolah throwback gambar kahwinnya beberapa bulan lepas.

Tiba-tiba, muncul perasaan paling sedih dalam hati. Paling sedih, paling hiba. Mata rasa panas.

Azan dah bunyi.

Minum air. Masuk bilik. Sekarang tengah type ni sambil berjurai-jurai air mata. Tak ada siapa nak dengar ngongoian aku, makanya aku luah kat sini saja.

Kalau Marwan masih hidup, that could be me in that situation. Married, pregnant. I see everybody is moving on with their lives. I still didn't past my breaking point.

Sedih hidup aku ni.




Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone over the TuneTalk network

Hey yo!

To be honest, I'm tired living under your spotlight. Tired enough to say this. Tired enough to even have a though in my mind that you will never, ever let me shine.

Whatever.



Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone over the TuneTalk network

#RamadhanCountdown

#QOTD

"I stay up late at night, try not to think about it. Pretend I'm happy, well and all the world without love. I get so tired being on display somehow. Sometimes I get lonely, millions can't hold me now."

— Last Girl On Earth, Elizabeth Woolridge Grant.



Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone over the TuneTalk network

Don't Rain On My Parade.

Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter
Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade!

Don't tell me not to fly, I've simply got to
If someone takes a spill, it's me and not you
Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade?

I'll march my band out, I'll beat my drum
And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir
At least I didn't fake it
Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it
But whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection
Or freckle on the nose of life's complexion
The cinder or the shiny apple of its eye
I gotta fly once, I gotta try once
Only can die once, right sir?

Life is juicy, juicy
And you see I gotta have my bite, sir
Get ready for me, love, cause I'm a comer
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer
Don't bring around a cloud To rain on my parade

I'm gonna live and live now
Get what I want, I know how
One roll for the whole show bang
One throw, that bell will go clang
Eye on the target and wham
One shot, one gun shot, and BAM!
Hey Mister Arnstein here I am
Nobody, no, nobody is gonna rain on my parade!

Don't Rain On My Parade, Barbra Streisand.
Funny Girl Broadway, 1964.



Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone over the TuneTalk network

Oceans.

Wait for your call, love
The call never came
Ready to fall up
Ready to claim
And I'm ready for it all, love
Ready for the pain
Meet under sun and
Meet me again
In the rain

Behind the walls, love
I'm trying to change
And I'm ready for it all, love
I'm ready for the change
Meet me in blue sky
Meet me again
In the rain

You've got to find yourself alone in this world
You've got to find yourself alone

Oceans by Coldplay.
Ghost Stories, 2014.



Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone over the TuneTalk network

#QOTD

"Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth, for being correct, for being you. Never apologize for being correct or for being years ahead of your time. If you're right and you know it, speak your mind. Even if you are minority of one, the truth is still the truth." —Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi.



Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone over the TuneTalk network

[Review] Maybelline The Falsies Volum' Express Waterproof Mascara.

I always have love for Maybelline's mascaras. For me, they produce the best mascaras. One of the mascaras that i love is The Falsies Volum Express. 

This is my honest review tau. Nak kata this mascara bagi effect macam pakai false lashes terus, NO. False advertising. At least not on me. Tapi, this mascara does give a little bit effect of wearing falsies after applying 2, 3 coats. Yang penting, tak clumpy. I hate clumpy lashes! This mascara stays on my lashes at least for 5 hours. And oh, it's waterproof. Oleh itu, agak susah nak take it off.

Price is very affordable, RM33.90 and you can get this mascara in most of our local drugstore.

Always In My Head.

I think of you
I haven't slept
I think I do

But I don't forget
My body moves
Goes where I will
But though I try my heart stays still
It never moves
Just won't be left

So my mouth waters, to be fed
And you're always in my head

You're always in my head
You're always in my head
You're always in my head

This, I guess, is to tell you
You're chosen out from the rest

Always In My Head by Coldplay.
Ghost Stories, 2014.



Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone over the TuneTalk network

Hmm.

I do this with him every night. I take his shirt to bed and I talk to him about my day. For 3 years now, I'm still 'asking' him for advice and 'waiting' to hear his laugh and for him to 'tells' me that he loves me. But he never does and he never will.

I know, I've been telling people that I already moved on. But I don't know. I don't know. I don't freaking know. I know it's stupid. Believe me, sometimes I swear I can't take it anymore. As much as my friends and family said they will always be here for me, I face this matter on my own. Like, ain't nobody got time to hear about this stupid proble. The least I can do is to cry on sejadah but still, not enough. Not fucking enough. I'm hurt. There's a huge hole in my heart.

I know, Marwan was just my boyfriend. But we shared our love for 5 freaking years. We are that typical teenagers at that time who berangan to get married. In fact, we are getting married pun. The year that he passed away, we are supposed to get engaged. Now, tell me how can I get over all of this bullshit?

Oh god, please help.



Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone over the TuneTalk network

Let's DIY!

Don't throw away your paperbag and perfume boxes just yet! It can be use for lots of DIY later. Kat bawah ni ada 2 DIY yang aku buat semalam. It's freaking easy and no money needed. Guna apa yang ada je. Check it out!

DIY 1: Make-up organizer.

I cut that MAC medium size (i guess) paperbag to the height that i want and use perfume boxes as a divider. As easy as pie! Even making a pie is not that easy. Haha.

DIY 2: Frame/wall display.

This is the easiest. Some of the paperbags are so beautiful and you keep it but don’t know what to do with it? Frame it! Find some beautiful frame (i got mine from Daiso), cut the paperbag into the size of the frame and voila, you got yourself a beautiful frame/wall display!

#RamadhanCountdown

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Suralaya Dalam D Major.

"Getar senandung Suralaya menggamit. Di sudut perasaan cinta menjerit. Bisik kasihku gemersik makin rangsang, makin rasa sebegitu terang. Aku tersentak lalu tersedar. Cuaca dingin menambat hati yang kian rawan. Terbayang seribu kemungkinan. Tergerakku mendakap, kau pun hilang." —Rosli Khamis.



Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone over the TuneTalk network

Perihal anak-anak.

Weeks ago, aku lepak dengan Jijan and Fyna. Dengan Jijan tu memang dah selalu dah, sebab dia duduk sini. Fyna duduk Manjung, so jarang jumpa. The only reason dia nak datang Ipoh pun bila time check-up anak-anak dia.

Seronok gila jumpa anak-anak Fyna. Walaupun jarang jumpa, they are friendly, so takde problem nak bonding. Sekejap je dah mesra. Epan dah besar, dah 5 tahun. Dia memang dah kenal dan ingat orang. He knows I'm his mummy. Danzley baru setahun setengah.

Tengok kawan-kawan happy beranak pinak ni la membuatkan aku nakkkk sangat ada anak cepat-cepat. I think, my sole purpose to get married is to have my own babies.

Time sembang-sembang masa lepak tu, Fyna cakap, "No, you don't want child. You just love the idea of having children. YOU DON'T WANT CHILD." Sumpah, aku tak paham. Bukan tak paham English, tapi, entah.

Then she added, "Hang nak tau apa aku rasa bila Epan pegi sekolah? I feel relief. Aku tak kerja, tapi aku hantar Danzley pegi rumah nanny. Sebab apa? Sebab I want my alone time that I will never get back."

Tak paham. Sumpah tak paham. Dia tak sayang anak-anak dia ke?

"Aku sayang anak-anak to the bits. But they are pain in the ass. Percayalah, ini normal and it should be like that." Jijan angguk, rasanya itu tanda setuju. Jijan kata, she read somewhere, if the child doesn't hate the parents during their teenage years, the parents must be doing something wrong.

Entah.

Do I only loving the idea of having children? Macam mana nak figure out? Aku rasa kita tak akan dapat figure out pun until we have one. Macam, pengalaman. Or, bad ex-boyfriends.

Hmm, entahlah.




Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone over the TuneTalk network

[Review] LovelyBlingz custom made blinged-out casing.

Mazni dengan blinged-out casing memang tak dapat dipisahkan. Haha. Reason being, sebab pakai handphone yang susah nak cari casings yang cantik-cantik. Before this, aku buat sendiri je. Bila buat sendiri ni, paham-paham je la, guna pun diamond sticker biasa je.

Dah lama teringin nak pakai blinged-out casing yang 3D tapi macam tak ada creativity nak buat sendiri. One day, one of my followings on Instagram upload gambar blinged-out casing dia. Cantik nak mampos. Dia tag sekali IGshop yang buat custom made casing tu. Aku pun try la tengok-tengok designs. Cantik-cantik semuanya. Tiba-tiba, nampak comment pasal nak COD. Owner dia orang Ipoh! Oh, lagi la excited nak support orang kampung. Ahahahah.

So, permulaannya aku contact dia, Stephanie namanya, through Whatsapp tanya pasal harga apa semua. Mula-mula macam kecewa sebab aku pakai BlackBerry Torch which is a slide phone, dia cuma provide back cover. She did try to find a clear casing untuk front and back cover nak buat casing untuk aku but she couldn't find any. See, even a clear casing pun susah nak jumpa dah untuk handphone aku. Sobbbsss. 

Aku memang dah ada casing yang ada front and back cover tapi jenis rubber casing. Aku tak suka rubber casing sebab it catch dirts easily. So, aku mattify kan rubber case to guna matte clear spray which can be found in most hardware stores. Aku tanya dia, if aku bagi casing aku, dia boleh cuba buatkan tak? Dia jawab, there's no harm trying. Esoknya, aku pun hantarlah 2 rubber-turned-matte casings tu kat dia.

Dapat je casings tu, dia cakap, takde masalah, boleh je nak buat sebab surface dah jadi matte. So, aku pun proceed la dengan design yang aku nak. Even kita pilih design yang dia pernah buat, boleh je tweak sana sini, ubah color scheme ke. Nama pun custom made kan? Several time jugak aku tukar design untuk 3D case, dia rela je melayan aku. Huhu.

Sekejap je dia buat casings aku. Dalam seminggu je dah siap. Result sama macam apa yang kita mintak. Maybe slightly different la. Manusia yang buat, bukan machine. Huhu. So, we met up at railway. OMG she's gorgeous. Dia Chainese, tapi aku tengok macam ada mix mat saleh. Entah, tak tanya pulak.

Dia pakai high grade crystals, which is, berpadananlah dengan harga yang ditawarkan. It has swarovski element in it but it's not a real swarovski la. Sangat terserlah bila reflex dengan cahaya. Memang beza gila la dengan casing yang aku buat sendiri. Huhu. 

Sejak dari last December, takde lagi crystal yang tercabut. Maybe because i'm so careful with it. Pakai blinged-out casing ni mesti la nak kena hati-hati sikit kot. Kalau memang jenis yang campak-campak handphone, forget about it.

Overall, sangat berpuas hati dengan service LovelyBlingz. Boleh check out their Instagram dengan nama yang sama.

Mind you, 3D casing sangat bulky. If you don't like your phone to be bulky, jangan pakai 3D blinged-out casing.

Boleh cari LovelyBlingz kat Facebook jugak.

PRESS PLAY!

My experience on New York Skin Solution.

Ini dah lama sangat ni. I went there on Christmas public holiday, after so many postponed appointment. Sebabnya, masa bulan December tu memang busy set up bookshop. Macam mana aku boleh dapat free trial ni? Aku kan minah freebies. So, bila nampak promo ni kat freebies website, aku pun submit je la and they called me, like, a month after.

Service memang first class. Consider kita ni potential client kan. I forgot already about the procedure. But, 1st step, biasa la, consultation. Nak tengok kulit kita ni jenis apa and rawatan jenis apa yang diorang nak buat kat muka kita. Again, aku dah lupa jenis rawatan apa yang dia buat kat muka aku ni. Tapi, aku ingat jugak la they massage my face with something aromatic cream, they removed my pimples and did double mask on my face. When they said they need me to allocate 3 hours, they really meant it. Memang ngam 3 jam.

After habis diorang mengulit muka aku, back to consultant room. Haa, time tu la dia pujuk segala bagai suruh ambik package dia and aku dengan cemerlangnya tak layan dengan pujuk rayu si consultant. Saja nak cuba and dapat free facial je pun. Hihi. 

Setiap trial, diorang bagi complimentary kit which contain liquid wash, toner and tinted moisturizer. Liquid wash dengan toner tak guna pun. Cuma guna tinted moisturizer je as my primer before i apply foundation or BB cream.