Hmm.

While waiting for berbuka puasa, scroll timeling Instagram. Scrolling, scrolling. Tiba-tiba, nampak sepupu paling rapat yang makin hari makin membesar perutnya. Sebab mengandung. Bukan sebab gemuk. Huhu. Scroll lagi. Tengok kawan sesekolah throwback gambar kahwinnya beberapa bulan lepas.

Tiba-tiba, muncul perasaan paling sedih dalam hati. Paling sedih, paling hiba. Mata rasa panas.

Azan dah bunyi.

Minum air. Masuk bilik. Sekarang tengah type ni sambil berjurai-jurai air mata. Tak ada siapa nak dengar ngongoian aku, makanya aku luah kat sini saja.

Kalau Marwan masih hidup, that could be me in that situation. Married, pregnant. I see everybody is moving on with their lives. I still didn't past my breaking point.

Sedih hidup aku ni.




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Hey yo!

To be honest, I'm tired living under your spotlight. Tired enough to say this. Tired enough to even have a though in my mind that you will never, ever let me shine.

Whatever.



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#RamadhanCountdown

#QOTD

"I stay up late at night, try not to think about it. Pretend I'm happy, well and all the world without love. I get so tired being on display somehow. Sometimes I get lonely, millions can't hold me now."

— Last Girl On Earth, Elizabeth Woolridge Grant.



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Don't Rain On My Parade.

Don't tell me not to live, just sit and putter
Life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter
Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade!

Don't tell me not to fly, I've simply got to
If someone takes a spill, it's me and not you
Who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade?

I'll march my band out, I'll beat my drum
And if I'm fanned out, your turn at bat, sir
At least I didn't fake it
Hat, sir, I guess I didn't make it
But whether I'm the rose of sheer perfection
Or freckle on the nose of life's complexion
The cinder or the shiny apple of its eye
I gotta fly once, I gotta try once
Only can die once, right sir?

Life is juicy, juicy
And you see I gotta have my bite, sir
Get ready for me, love, cause I'm a comer
I simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer
Don't bring around a cloud To rain on my parade

I'm gonna live and live now
Get what I want, I know how
One roll for the whole show bang
One throw, that bell will go clang
Eye on the target and wham
One shot, one gun shot, and BAM!
Hey Mister Arnstein here I am
Nobody, no, nobody is gonna rain on my parade!

Don't Rain On My Parade, Barbra Streisand.
Funny Girl Broadway, 1964.



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Oceans.

Wait for your call, love
The call never came
Ready to fall up
Ready to claim
And I'm ready for it all, love
Ready for the pain
Meet under sun and
Meet me again
In the rain

Behind the walls, love
I'm trying to change
And I'm ready for it all, love
I'm ready for the change
Meet me in blue sky
Meet me again
In the rain

You've got to find yourself alone in this world
You've got to find yourself alone

Oceans by Coldplay.
Ghost Stories, 2014.



Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone over the TuneTalk network