Hey little creature!

InsyaAllah kita akan berjumpa in 35 weeks time!

Aku adalah manusia yang paling gembira. Percayalah. Sebab, harapan untuk aku memiliki sendiri tidaklah secerah ketika aku memasang impian itu di usia remaja.

Bukan. Bukan bayi aku. Tapi, darah daging aku. Walaupun dia bukan keluar dari rahim aku, tapi dia keluar dari rahim orang yang aku sayang dan penting dalam hidup aku.

Little creature, be a fighter and fight all the way to see the world. InsyaAllah, kalau berjodoh, kita akan jumpa!

:')



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What if you could pick one day of your life and everything would stop changing, everyday would be similar and comparable to that one day yo chose. If you could do that, would you do that?

We crave for things to stop changing. We wish that things would never change. But if we got what we wanted, there are soooo many things that are better, that we would never ever know about.

Sure, things would stay the same as that one wonderful day but then there would be nothing else out there.

You need to finally accept all the things that you couldn't change which led to you being right here, right now.

Maybe we all carry around inside us one day we wish we could keep forever, something we wish never will change.

Well, it's time to let go of that day.



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Virus.

Aku tengah tak berapa sihat ni. Since last Thursday lagi. Aku sangat berharap I don't fall into fever sebab I was planning to have fun with my entire family this weekend.

Tak demam, nasib baik la.

Hari Jumaat balik kampung, I was down with flu and caugh while the others are healthy.

It's like, I'm spreading the viruses to them. Now, I'm getting better, they're getting worse pulak. Hehe.

Sorry!



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Demi kasih sayang.

Abah aku pesan, walau apa pun yang jadi, kenanglah mereka. Demi kasih sayang. Yup, demi kasih sayang.

Kalau nak diikutkan, sebenarnya memang dah tak ada hubungan apa-apa dah. Memang dah hilang pertalian darah. Tapi, iyalah, demi kasih sayang kan?

Demi kasih sayang ni la kami biar engkau cakap buruk dibelakang kami. Semua cerita engkau jaja. Yang sampai ke telinga pun dah tak indah didengar, apa entah lagi yang tak sampai ke telinga kami?

Demi kasih sayang ni jugak la kami tak pernah nak jaja cerita buruk engkau walaupun sebenarnya, kalau kami nak buat boleh sangat. But we don't want to downgrade ourselves to your level, bitch.

Demi kasih sayang my ass.

I don't know about the rest of my family. Tapi aku dah taknak berkasih sayang dengan orang yang palit tahi yang busuk kat kasih sayang aku. You don't deserve my kasih sayang.

Slowly, I will kick you from my fucking life. I had enough. I loathe you. I don't even wanna see you on the day you die.

From now on, I don't consider you as my family anymore. At least not in my heart.



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All we need is...

"Allahumma ajurni fil musiibati, wakhluf lii khairan minha."

Wahai tuhan, berikanlah ganjaran padaku atas musibah yang Kau timpakan ini dan gantikan untukku sesuatu yang lebih baik darinya.

Tuhan kata, dia cuma duga hamba Dia kalau Dia rasa hamba Dia tu mampu untuk tanggung. But then again, kita rasa berat dah dugaan yang kita tengah hadap ni padahal yang sebenarnya, kita mampu tanggung.

Aku selalu merintih nasib diri. Dulu. Tak kira la secara vokal atau emosi, dengan individu atau di laman sosial aku. Bila Mak ajar yang ada lagi orang lain yang tengah ditimpa dugaan yang lagi besar dan berat daripada aku, I was like, "Stop bitching, bitch!"

I lost my boyfriend. Tapi ada orang lain yang hilang suami. He's just my boyfriend, my dead boyfriend. I'm jobless. Tapi ada orang lain yang jobless tanpa ada skill apa-apa untuk cari makan. At least, my make-up skill is my meal ticket.

So why the hell am I bitching? Dugaan aku lebih kecik daripada zarah.

I see the light now. Masih samar, tapi aku dah nampak cahayanya. Maybe the bright lights will eventually come to my life, maybe it won't come at all. But all I need is faith. Faith is all I need.

Aku meletakkan kepercayaan penuh kepada tuhan aku yang satu hari Dia akan tukar keperitan aku ni kepada sesuatu yang aku tak pernah expect. He actually did. One by one, aku nampak.

Biar lambat, tapi ada. Asalkan ada. Like I said, all I need is faith.

You need it too. Faith.



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Where have you been?

I don't wanna forget you voice. I don't wanna forget how you treated me. I don't wanna forget everything about you.

Where are you? I don't feel you around me anymore.



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